I have started reading “The God Delusion” by Richard Dawkins. I was already familiar with him, having read his “The Magic of Reality” and watched a science documentary starring him and another scientist, whose name I unfortunately can’t recall.
I had barely read the first chapter and was seized with a desire to write this post. That’s because of what the scientist has referred to in his first chapter – coming out! I never really thought I had anything to come out about, since I don’t lead a terribly exciting or rashly sinful life. But yes, I have strong thoughts about religion and god, and the reason I never mention it is that everyone seems to be so touchy about everything.
But it does impact how I raise my child, and hence I am writing this. Harshad and I are both non-believers or atheists, if you prefer. Now Richard Dawkins has written a whole book about it and devotes considerable time talking about the topic but I will repeat one key point. Being an atheist does not make us gloomy, amoral and cynical. On the contrary, we see beauty in many things. And for me at least, God simply means something that cannot be defined but is beautiful and pure and good. So I feel there is a god in every little child. Till the parents take over (wink wink)….
Religion is hogwash, and here are the contradictions of my life. I love the smells that waft when someone performs a puja. I even love the various god-forms – they are quite beautiful and credit to whoever thought them up. I know many aartis and enjoy singing them. I have no qualms about visiting a temple if the situation arises – such as, if I come across a temple hundreds or thousands of years old on a holiday trip, I will certainly enjoy visiting it. Because I have grown up with conventional gods and religious rituals, they hold a special warm place in my heart, even though they mean nothing like what they are supposed to mean. When I became old enough to question and eventually form my conclusions, I did not begin to turn my nose up at the little religious practises that one encounters from time to time. I just made my peace with the fact that my god was different from everyone else’s.
But I do draw the line at creating gods out of humans. I can’t understand why humans are never happy with what they have – we have hundreds of gods- and we still need to have saints and the like to worship! Dear Dr Dabholkar spent a lifetime trying to educate gullible and poor people about the wicked designs of wily godmen. He paid the ultimate price when he was murdered for speaking his mind on evil superstitious practices. The government woke up, so very belatedly, and passed an ordinance on the Anti Superstition law.
So what does all this mean when you are a parent? We decided to take the bull by its horns and spoke honestly about it with our son Tej – when the need arose. It made things uncomfortable for us, as it inevitably made other questions challenging to answer.
What happens when we die? Hmm..No comfortable afterlife to talk about. What about heaven and hell? uhhh.. nope.. does not exist.
What about God punishing you when you are bad? Unfortunately no. No one might ever know you broke baby brothers’ toy.
How does a baby come into mummy’s tummy? Ummm.. no God didn’t put it there…..
Though initially we were apprehensive, especially about the death bit, because we didn’t want to weigh his tiny shoulders with incomprehensible and uncomfortable thoughts, it turned out ok. We just talked about things dying in the natural world normally, like leaves yellowing and flowers withering and how they all go back to earth.
This was about a year ago. Now he has moved on. He no longer asks about God as such. In fact, he gives me a mock-questioning look with a little smirk, whenever I say out loud “Oh My God!”
I believe he has come out stronger and abler – to think for himself. So when other kids tell him there are bad monsters and ghosts, he is able to keep his composure and inform them placidly – there is no such thing; isn’t it Mummy? Right you are, sweetie and don’t let it worry you. ‘I am not worried’, he assures me with a ‘isn’t it obvious?’ look!
